Monthly Archives: August 2009

Working My Brain Inside-out

It has been so long since I stepped into my journal world … too long in fact, the last post was in April … now it seems I have to get used to the wordpress format all over again. 

This post is spontaneous, I just typed my blog name … not really knew the purpose, and I got in and I clicked on “new post”.  So what’s up?

Do you work?  Where are you working?  …  I got asked so many times in the last 6 months, I lost count, and now few asked again.  And I like it this way.  I knew some are genuine concerns and I will surely update these people personally without being asked.  The others?  Probers, perhaps … some friends just had time to dig information and I am not longer sure if they really care how I am doing, and I gave them answers that probably bored them that they realised I was not going to share anything in depth with them that would be newsworthy.  Many no longer contact me coz we are not in the same grapevine, perhaps.

Tai-Tai? …  Some friends used terms on me which irritated me a little, because they are my friends.  Just because I don’t work for a salary or employed, I was referred to as “Tai-Tai” or “woman of leisure”.  Few can accept I let go a good package in the pharmaceutical industry to pursue something they never thought I would, and in most cases we became friends in the same industry.  I could not provide them with any concrete ideas they could imagine and expect me to be, so some effectively thought I do nothing.  Ha.  These words from them were not malicious, just ignorance of truly what I am pursuing, despite me sharing my personal goals and dreams.  Different wavelength just because I choose not to be a salaried corporate employee, and we are not on the same corporate path.  But I know some of these friends do care for me.

My family life?  …  I am also working on starting a family.  It is no simple task, partly because the reproductive system is not at its peak.  But we believe it is in God’s will and plan that he will provide for me, for us, for our family.

My business?  …  literally, ha, it is my business indeed.  I am indeed working on a plan to start something , however small the steps are, but just start.  Recently BK said to me a phrase he read somewhere, do not remember the exact words, something to the effect – as long as we don’t stop dreaming and working on it, continue to move no matter how small the steps.  He spoke to me at a time when my mind was filled with hesitance, fear, self-doubt, and yet roaring to create our dream.  I finalised on the name and registered my business, met up and confirmed the vendor to create my website, pressured and adrenalised (I don’t think there is this word but the meaning is exactly what I need) into working the business plan and the “products”.  I enjoy every moment from the dream to the search, research and continuously researching … to the plan, and I aim towards realising it.

Perserverance?   …   I must continuous despite of fear.  Or I will never do anything great.  I believe.  I do.  I be.

When my business is realised, this will be where I shall first update.

This note felt so much like a psychological assurance to myself, but really it put down my full commitment to getting It done, getting  It right!

Keep in touch  …  with the people who care for me, with myself who got to just do it, do it.

ps:  Recently on radio, I overheard the DJ sharing some words on Life – we do not hope to win, or think we can win, but Expect To!  Cheers